(no subject)

Hello, I'm an 18-year-old feminist, plagued for years by body issues. I've suffered from bouts of self-mutiliation and bulimia, thought currently I'm in the recovery phase of both. I really would love to be thin, because I think my life would be so much better sometimes. When I was growing up, my mother called me Twinkie and Piggy, so I have always thought I was fat, even though everyone else assures me I am not.

There, my body issues, flat on the table. ;)

(no subject)

im new here..

how much do you have to binge to consider it an eating disorder?

i just dont know whether its serious enough to consider it a disorder or what. when im depressed, i just eat and eat and eat til i feel sick. then get even more depressed afterwards because i feel fat and ugly. im not particularly overweight, im bigger than most girls but im tall so no one notices besides me.

i really want to stop doign this, i just dont know how.

this whole entry sounds so cliche i know, but its the way i feel at the moment.

any advice?

Kinda new...

Hey... I've been here for a while, just never wrote. I'm a self injurer. Haven't done it in a while, trying to stop. I'm sick of being criticized by some of my friends for it. They call me stupid, and hit me... that just makes you wanna do it even more. I've got no big story to tell. I just cut, bite, and scratch. I hate myself on somedays, and thats when it's the worst. I've also attempted suicide many times and of which have never been caught. I hate hating myself and I hate having the thought of guilt chase me around. I wanna tell someone, but it just won't come out.

(no subject)

i just wanted to post in here for the first time. i'm not sure what to talk about yet (i was raped by my uncle when i was a little girl), i'm kinda scared (a girl violated me about a year ago), but hopefully this will become a place i can post in (i deal with self-injury, too). xoxo.

(no subject)

I was recently released from Bellvue physchiatric ward (21 west...adolescent) for trying to kill myself (2 bottles of painkillers). I was raped the night before. I want to be able to talk to someone besides my theerapist that doesnt have to look at my face or my body or gawk at me. I am good looking, I guess....I could loose weight but so could everyone...Well i mean i like myself sometimes but i need a diet ...although i cant tell my therapist because she'd probably go crazy and think i am anerexic bulimic etc. Which I am not and am really not into another trip to the hospital. Guys up for the chalenge of listening to my bullshit?

(no subject)

this weekend was hell.
eating, eating, eating.
whenever i got a chance to reach for food, i did.
and it's not even like i'm overweight anymore.
or am i?
i'm obsessed with my weight, ever since i started losing it...
pound by pound i count.
calorie by calorie, i count.
i just want to eat my life away.
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